My Cruel Hikari
by LateNiteSlacker
Summary: Does Ryou have the guts to face his deepest fear?
1. Default Chapter

                    "Get up you lazy ass!" Ryou moaned, hearing the incessant and obnoxious noise that woke him up every morning. For once he wished he could maybe sleep in a day, but no, this could never be. He had his yami to deal with. "If you don't get up now I'll make you wish dearly that you had…"

                    "Fine fine, I'm up." Ryou sat up lazily rubbing his eyes as he drooped his legs over the edge of the bed. Really, he couldn't understand how Bakura could awaken so early. Each night left Ryou more exhausted than the previous, and by the morning, he was as good as gone.

                    "I have more stamina than you."  At the gasp of embarrassment and slight horror from his hikari, a sinister grin spilled over his face for a brief moment, and he chided smugly. "I know what you're thinking you know. I am you." 

                    Seconds later, the grin was replaced with an agitated and somewhat disturbed pout. "Bakura, you are not me. You may taunt me, mock me, and even go so far as to possess me sometimes, but you will never be me. Actually, this helps prove that you aren't me and…"

                    "Yeah yeah I don't want to be a loser like you anyway." Bakura muttered in a somewhat childish tone as he grabbed the millennium ring from his nightstand and separated from his hikari. He raised his hand quickly to Ryou's face, and grinned as the boy flinched and cast his saddened eyes downwards. Rather than strike his hikari, he simply patted his head and spun around to leave. "Go back to sleep, you look terrible."

                    Surprised again, Ryou stammered, "What?  You're really leaving now without…"  A slight flush spread across his cheeks and he cast his gaze away from Bakura, finding it impossible to finish his sentence.

                    "Without fucking you?"  Bakura grinned maniacally, not surprised at the boy's inability to say such a vulgar word.  He didn't need the question answered.  Though they weren't sharing the same body right now, he could tell what his little hikari was thinking.  An ominous smirk and wink back to him scared Ryou even more.  "Why?  That's for me to know, and you to wonder."


	2. chapter 2

                    "I can't let him hurt my friends." Ryou ran downstairs after his mischievous yami, but found the scene deserted.  Every day, Bakura made a routine of drinking his morning coffee, which Ryou felt he really didn't need, and reading the advertisements in the paper.  But today, no morning paper sat on the kitchen table, and the coffee pot was cold. Without his yami mucking about and causing havoc everywhere, the place seemed empty.  "Bakura where are you?!  Bakura!" He shouted, but his calls only echoed off the walls of his empty house.  Ryou bowed his head, feeling oddly alone and defeated.  Something definitely felt very very wrong.  Anxiety sharply struck him and he clutched his light violet hair between his fingers in panicked frustration.  "How could I let him leave like this?!  I don't know who he's targeting this time… Jonouchi maybe?  He hasn't done anything to him in a while… or maybe Anzu?  He always talks about how annoying she is… or…  Yugi?"  

                    "Yugi is the weakest of my friends… of course he will target him." Tears of agony and concern glistened in his eyes and he ran out of the house, disregarding the dull nighttime clothes he was wearing.  "I can't… can't let him hurt my friends… I can't let him hurt Yugi."

                    He arrived at Yugi's abode out of breath and disheveled.  In a panic, he burst through the door without knocking, calling out Yugi's name with fear.  "Yugi!  Are you here?!  Yugi!!"

                    The spiky haired boy ran down the stairs with slight confusion and concern in his eyes.  "Ryou?  It's so early… what are you doing here?  Is something wrong?"

                    "I lost track of Bakura and I thought that he might have… that you…" Unable to find the right words, he let Yugi talk for him.

                    "You though that he might hurt me?"  Yugi nodded in understanding, but surprised Ryou by giving him a smile.  "I am happy that you care about me this much, but you don't have to worry about me Ryou."

                    "But Yugi, if he came here…" he began, but stopped again when he was interrupted by another familiar voice.

                    "Then I would make sure nothing happened to Yugi." Yami strolled casually out of the kitchen, munching on a breakfast bar.  Tossing another one to Ryou, he smirked.  "Oh, and Happy Birthday Ryou."

                    When Ryou raised his eyebrows, confused at the gesture, Yami laughed.  "Your look is precious!  Don't tell me you believed that was your present.  Yugi has your real gift upstairs, but I think it still has to be…"  Yami glanced at Yugi, giving him a sidelong wink.  "… wrapped first.  Yugi?"

                    "Yes, happy birthday Ryou."  The spiky haired boy nodded with a shy smile and ran upstairs.  "I'll be back with your present soon!"

                    "My birthday…" Ryou murmured beneath his breath.  With the sudden events this morning, the thought had completely escaped him.  "You remembered…"

                    "Of course I remembered, how could I forget with Yugi counting down?  50 days till Ryou's birthday, 27 days till Ryou's birthday, blah blah blah." Yami raised the pitch of his voice, mimicking his hikari, but it was all in fun.  If it made Yugi happy, it was good enough for him too.  He almost smiled thinking about it, but then he remembered what he had meant to do.  His countenance grew somber, and he grasped Ryou's hand, drawing him into the kitchen.

                    "What is this Yami?  What are you planning?" Ryou asked with an innocent demeanor, though he knew just how devious Yugi's Yami, or any Yami, could be.

                    "Sadly, it's not what you think.  This may come as a shock, but there is something I need to tell you."  Yami paused.  

                    "Really?  What a shock." Ryou giggled mirthfully, not knowing what Yami had in store for him.

                    "Ryou… this is not a laughing matter."  He lowered his voice so that he was certain only the two of them would hear his words.  "I heard your conversation with Yugi, in fact I've heard many of them whether you realize that or not.  I've noticed a trend with you and Bakura. You always speak of him with fear and dread in your voice, always concerned that he would have or already had harmed someone, usually you.  Is what I gather true?"

                    Hearing Yami's words, the smile slowly faded off of Ryou's face. He nodded with shame and sadness and muttered softly, "It's true."

                    "This isn't normal, but you know that already, don't you?" Yami waited until he saw the boy's small nod and sighed, "I really hate bring this up again, especially on your birthday, really I do.  I just wanted you to know that if he gives you, or anyone else, any more trouble then you can always give me a call.  I'll take care of it, anytime, any day."  He smiled warmly and gently caressed Ryou's cheek.  "Yugi cares about you, and so do I."

                    "I…" The boy stood somewhat expressionless for a moment, trying to figure out what he should say or do next.  His eyes darted around the room hopelessly, panicked and confused not by Yami's openness, but rather by something much deeper, something that had remained hidden inside him for a very long time.   After a few rapid quivering breaths, he pushed Yami's hand away.  He adverted his gaze downwards, and after a long deliberation, he faced Yami again.  "Thank you Yami, I know I can trust you.  I appreciate your hospitality, but I should go now...  there's something I need to do.  Please tell Yugi that I'm sorry for leaving so soon."

                    Yami nodded, noting Ryou's silent, uneasy demeanor, and showed him the way out.  As they reached the door, Yami placed something into Ryou's hands and whispered to him, "I know what you mean to do.  You are braver than I assumed."

                    Shrugging off Yami's ominous words, the boy took the item and walked briskly away without another word.  The pharaoh's adept intuition still scared him, and this time, it made his stomach lurch with queasiness.  How could he know what his cruel intentions were?  Maybe he didn't.  Perhaps for once, the all-mighty pharaoh had guessed wrong.  Ryou chanced a glance at what Yami had given him and sighed with dismay.  Then again, maybe he did know.


	3. chapter 3

                    Ryou walked home in a daze, a cold perspiration clinging to him while he fingered the plastic around Yami's true birthday gift.  "Leave it to a yami to give me something so powerful... something so destructive."  The very thought that he owned such power frightened him, and the boy's thoughts began to wander haphazardly.  "What if it is a mistake?  What if I can't do it after all?  Somebody please… tell me what to do, or stop me."  

                    Before he knew it, he stood before the door to his own home again.  Entering quietly, he found no traces of his yami hanging around.  Bakura still had not returned.  "You've alluded me again, Bakura.  It wasn't Yugi, so who did you hurt this time?"

                    Still captive to the spell he created in his thoughts, Ryou didn't bother taking off his shoes before he entered and started a pot of coffee.  Bakura wouldn't be happy until he had his fill, and he certainly didn't want to upset him.  Placing Yami's gift next to the coffee pot, he walked unsteadily to the bathroom and stared at his reflection in the mirror.  Time paced slowly by while Ryou attempted to gather his thoughts together.  Gazing not so calmly into the mirror, his vision blurred, altering his reflection until the image on the smooth glass was no longer his own.  He scowled at it, hating everything from the dirty smirk to the cruel laughter that echoed in his mind.  "Bakura, how many times have you hurt the people most dear to me?  How many times have you made me a prisoner within my own mind?!  Using my hands to harm them… my hands…" As he stared at his sweaty hands, his eyes rolled in and out of focus.  A sickening feeling enveloped him, and his stomach lurched, heaving last night's dinner into the sink.  Clumsily, he pulled at the water faucet to wash the mess away, drawing rapid shallow breaths in a somewhat futile effort to calm his nerves.  "… my hands… to almost… kill them."

                    He had barely finished washing his soiled hands when he heard the door open and slam shut, familiar footsteps echoing through the house.  "I have to face him… I have to do it."  Ryou walked with determination into the kitchen to find his yami lounging at the table, reading the newspaper advertisements.

                    Without even glancing up, Bakura commanded, "There you are, get me my coffee."

                    Silently, Ryou removed a mug from the cabinets and set it by the glass coffee pot.  Picking up Yami's gift, panic struck him again as he silently lamented to himself, "_Can I really do this?  It's not right… I know it's not, but he's done so much… _he's hurt so many people._"  He poured the coffee about three quarters full and read the label on the plastic container silently.  "__Ambien –10 milligrams._  Take one pill by mouth before sleep.  Warning: Do not exceed maximum dosage of one pill per 24 hour period_."  Opening the plastic container, he stared inside at the plethora of tiny white pills.  _

                    "Lazy cunt!  What's taking you so long?!  I'm almost through the whole paper already!" The tomb robber demanded with an angry flip of his paper.

                    Tipping the container, Ryou watched all the tiny pills cascade silently into the coffee.  Retrieving flavored creamer from the refrigerator, he filled it almost to the brim, the way his yami liked it, and stirred in the creamy substance until he was sure all the pills had dissolved.  Leaving the spoon on the counter, he carefully set the mug on the table next to his yami.  Silently he reflected again, "_Bakura… I wanted to believe you would change."_

                    "About time." Bakura grumbled took a sip of the coffee.  He frowned and glanced suspiciously at the light brown liquid.  "Dumb fuck, did you think I wouldn't notice?"

                    Ryou felt his heart skip a beat.  Panic invaded his system, and again he wondered if he had done the right thing.  Bakura had noticed the difference, of course he would, and now he was done for.  Bracing himself for the worse, he cast his gaze downwards.

                    "… I told you to stop throwing that flavored creamer shit into the coffee yesterday."  Shoving the mug aside, he went back to reading his paper.  "Make another one.  No creamer."

                    "Y-yes Bakura…" Ryou walked slowly back to the coffee maker and retrieved a new mug from the sink.  He had come so close to actually doing it, to killing his yami.  At least Bakura had only noticed the creamer.  He thought anew as he lifted the coffee pot to pour a new cup.  "_I couldn't do it now anyway… I have nothing but this coffee pot in my hands…_"  His eyes widened momentarily and a new thought dawned upon him.  The pot was made of glass.  To Ryou, time seemed to slow down to the speed of a snail as he released the glass container.  The boy felt his heart pounding with anticipation and dread, watching it slowly fall to the tile floor, shattering and spilling the coffee all over.

                    Irritated, Bakura folded his paper down and glared at the troublesome boy.  "Clumsy fool.  You're paying for that after you clean it up."

                    "I am sorry…" Ryou lied quietly and knelt down to pick up some of the larger glass fragments.

                    "You better be, I'm stuck drinking this shit now." Drawing the tainted mug back to his lips, he took a few more gulps.  "Whoever invented this crap needs to go to the shadow realm and die a horrible and painful death."

                    Ryou threw away the large glass fragments and fetched a mop from the cabinet.  He had done it on his own, he had doomed his yami.  Still, something didn't feel quite right.

                    With a sidelong glance at Ryou, the tomb robber muttered, "What's wrong with you?  You look like you've spent the last half hour puking in the bathroom.  You sick?"

                    "No, only worried." Ryou murmured and continued to mop the floor.

                    "What does someone like you have to worry about?" He laughed off his hikari's comment.  Finishing the paper, he set it aside and started to chug the coffee down.  

                    "I am worried that I didn't act soon enough, that you hurt one of my friends again."  The boy's tone gained a slight air of confidence as he spoke again.  "Why do you have to be so cruel to everyone?  Who was your victim this time?!"

                    Finishing the mug, the crazed Egyptian spirit slammed it down to the table and smirked.  "Nobody!"

                    "W-what?" Ryou stammered.

                    "Gotcha by surprise didn't I?"  He shrugged. "My dear hikari, I have a surprise for you."

                    The boy was awestruck, silently listening and waiting across the kitchen while Bakura sat unaware that he was a living time-bomb.  How long would it take for the sleeping pills to affect him?  

                    "I think you'll like it.  I stole it just for you."  He stood up and began advancing on Ryou when suddenly he stopped and grasped the kitchen table.  A light dizzy spell had struck him and he felt the air around him grow a little warmer.  Using the other hand to clasp his chaotic hair, he muttered, "What the fuck…"

                    He glanced up and saw Ryou silently staring at him with pity in his eyes.  He was feeling drowsier, fatigued though he had barely done anything today.  The coffee wasn't even decaf, and he didn't feel sick.  Ryou was still staring at him, with that nervous look, like he was gaping at some fantastical circus display.  "Ryou…" Finally, he understood what had happened.

                    "You… poisoned my coffee... didn't you?  Looks like… I _could have made you evil."  A weak laugh escaped his lips, nothing compared to what it used to be.  Bakura grimaced, fighting off the drowsy toxins as they ran freely through his veins.  His eyes hardened, and he took a few shaky, but determined, steps forward. "I should have known that you would do something like this someday… how could I fool myself… thinking you wouldn't?"  _

                    Ryou found himself immobile, unable to run or speak.  He could only watch his yami struggle horrifically forward.  Perhaps it was because he had expected anger and resentment from Bakura.  Instead, all he saw was a strange unnatural look of sadness in his eyes.  He barely noticed when Bakura finally stood before him and threw his arms around him to keep from falling.

                    Precariously, he held onto Ryou, determined not to fall into the darkness yet.  With a quivering hand, he reached into his coat pocket and removed a tiny wrapped package.  "But I… I did it… I told you this morning I would… and you can't stop me.  My first act… of kindness to you."  Weakly, he placed the pretty present in Ryou's hand and breathed in an almost inaudible whisper before releasing his hikari and falling to the ground, "Happy Birthday, my cruel hikari."  


End file.
